下个拜五就飞了,去另一个陌生的国度。
走走。
看着地图,我开始好无助,无法想象在日本的未来十一天里我是否能不要迷路得太过分。。。
太多想去的地方了,去越南,LAOS,台湾,印度。。。
看来我回不去了,面包和理想无法只选其一。
如同面包和爱情。
也许是机缘未到,也许是我还无法很清高的说一个月马币两千元的工资我不介意,我更无法说不学以致用我会就此甘心。
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下个拜五就飞了,去另一个陌生的国度。
走走。
看着地图,我开始好无助,无法想象在日本的未来十一天里我是否能不要迷路得太过分。。。
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其实抵达瓶颈的感觉不可怕,可怕的是放不开跨不过。
留下是因为此刻离开未必最好。
放不下因为不知道放开后是不是会更好。
很久没有听到自己的声音了。
是不是该跟感觉走,还是让理智去分析。没有人能够预知。
那就让时间决定把。
我只想暂时逃离这个城市,为自己的心洗礼。
洗去我执,洗去偏见,洗去无明。
我要重生。
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Finally i conquered my laziness and travelled for 6 hours all the way down to PJ.
This was not really a trip but more to a gathering with my dear friends.
When my bus entered to KL city, i felt that i was at home. Although KL is not my hometown, i had been living in the city for about 7 years. It’s been some times i did not come back here, though i never forget about the city….
This is Puduraya at 1am.
I, even most of my friends, always curse about the mess, traffic of the city, but we know that we still love it.
Except Lui Yan, i think all of us, had gathered in Mid Valley. It’s been 7 years since we left INTI college.
7 years….
Leeny, one of the sweeties in BIT, has met her Mr Right lately. may her be blessed 🙂
Snowby, salute to you. How much i hope i can have your courage to put behind everything and made 2 years trip to Europe.
Momo, you are still the jovial gal among us. Pressures in life has stressed you up, but hopefully you are strong enough to take it.
Wanhuey, you are still the zhu in Block D. I always treasure our days in the college, where we spent time together struggled for exams, quarrels, and having fun.
Garfield, we are still hi and bye friend, but i really feel that you are not as happy as when you were in the college. Make life simple, and be happy, k?
Zhu, you are so 有型. hahaha! still remember how Wang Fei teased us as a les couple?
4 dear friend…
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但身边的朋友却觉得我很勇敢或是risk-taking person.
比如说,
十多岁时开始,我就一个人傻呼呼参与一堆社团,与一堆堆完全不认识的人共事,相处。
二十岁时开始,我一个人物色租房,一个人从一个城市搬到另一个城市居住, 一个人从一个城市到另一个城市工作。
两年前放弃了一份钱途不错且受老板器重的工作而投身目前这没有钱途且耗人的工作。
等等,等等
朋友们说,你很勇敢。
??
我想,谁说我不怕?我是冒险成功,福大命大。
而当我回想起以前种种做过的决定和经历, 我想,害怕和怀疑当时是存在的, 勇气是决定后的选择, 傻劲是坚持。
Winston Churchill有一句话,
害怕是一种反应,勇气是一项决定。
可见勇气不是天生的。害怕才是。
害怕没有错,害怕是提起勇气的动力。
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XL told me that “shite” is a nicer way to write shit..
But i think SHIT would be better explain my situation.
Senior found out that 2 of my FA applications were not approved and signed by boss but the money was disbursed to clients in the past 6 months.
Boss asked for an explanation from me.
The working procedure for FA application here is:
1. Boss to approve / disapprove the application
2. If not approve, she will return the case files to us directly for follow up.
3. If approve, she will pass the case file to admin for follow up ( key in to the system).
4. After that, admin will return the case file to us.
The admin had key in the data to the system and returned the case file to me, at this stage, do you think that it is my responsibility to ensure that if the admin key in the right data?
Then, is it fair to ask me to explain the whole SHIT thing?
Should i explain that :
1. why boss passed the disapproved cases to admin to key in?
2. why admin did not check properly before key-in the data to system?
3. why i did not double check if boss and admin did their job properly?
?????
Perhaps, i need to double check when i get the file back from admin and could not take it for granted that all cases keyed-in by admin are approved cases.
But if i to give an explanation on it, i should be the 3rd person to explain but not the first and the only one.
shiteeeeeee
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今早与阔别10 年的钢琴老师见面。
10 年叻,原来我也有这样的10 年。
开始冒汗。。。今早与阔别10 年的钢琴老师见面。 10 年叻,原来我也有这样的10 年。 开始冒汗。。。 以后是不是很容易就一个20年,30年?
在日本时看过一块岩石, 上面刻着“ 一日一生”, 当下有如当头棒喝。不起眼的一日其实在说着我们在如何过一生。
记得有位名人说过,我们都将成为我们重复做的和说的。 我们的一生何尝不是每一日重复的彩排累积而来? 以后是不是很容易就一个20年,30年?
在日本时看过一块岩石, 上面刻着“ 一日一生”, 当下有如当头棒喝。
不起眼的一日其实在说着我们在如何过一生。
记得有位名人说过,我们都将成为我们重复做的和说的。 我们的一生何尝不是每一日重复的彩排累积而来?
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miz在他的部落格问该学小提琴还是PAN FLUTE。
我突然想起我很久以前就向往了的大提琴。
我学的是钢琴,对其他琴完全没有接触。
向往大提琴是纯粹因为觉得在秋天的公园里拉大提琴超级浪漫。
如是而已。
所以我只向往那种浪漫的感觉,学琴不是重点。
因为如是而已, 所以这样的向往只是脑海里的一个画面。
我继续只会钢琴,然后远离钢琴,然后忘记钢琴。
就如忘记大提琴一样。
后来,遇上拉小提琴的小男生,长大了遇上抚吉他唱情歌的大男生,然后再被打回到现实的世界,我开始忘记我曾迷恋的大提琴。
然后,继续想温习钢琴,继续梦想拥有一个家----来放我梦里的三角钢琴。
后来,一切都变得奢侈了。我小心翼翼往前走去,一步紧跟一步,理想大过梦想, 现实大过梦幻.
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